The 7 Floors of a Healthy Team Relationship | The Sound Relationship House Framework for Co-Founders
Understand what constitutes a healthy founding team by applying foundational couples therapy principles from the Gottman Institute's Sound Relationship House to the co-founder relationship.
Inspired by the foundational principles of The Gottman Institute's Sound Relationship House, designed for romantic couples, we (at Confidante) have adapted this framework for co-founders in their professional journey:
Floor 1: Build Foundational “Co-Founder Maps”
Co-founders should start by constructing a shared understanding of each other's professional landscapes. Developing individual "Co-Founder Maps" involves delving into each other's strengths, weaknesses, and work preferences. The goal is to possess a comprehensive grasp of your co-founder's professional world, as well as communicate your own landscape.
Floor 2: Express Appreciation and Respect
Acknowledging each other's contributions is crucial. Regularly voicing admiration for your co-founder's skills, work ethic, or problem-solving abilities strengthens the foundation. In a collaborative workspace, articulating the reasons behind your respect and appreciation fosters a positive and supportive atmosphere.
Floor 3: Turn Towards Instead of Away
Recognizing and responding to your co-founder's professional cues is akin to turning towards bids in a romantic relationship. When a partner expresses a need, turning towards it with support and understanding creates a secure environment. In a business context, responding to each other's professional needs builds a foundation of mutual support.
Floor 4: Balance the Constructive with the Positive
Sharing positive feedback increases the likelihood that the constructive feedback is heard and taken seriously. Viewing challenges with a positive perspective involves assuming good intentions, avoiding immediate criticism, and maintaining a collective mindset. This approach strengthens the co-founder relationship by fostering a belief that both individuals are working towards shared goals.
Floor 5: Manage Conflict
Conflict is inevitable in any partnership. Co-founders must learn to accept each other's influence, engage in constructive dialogue about challenges, and practice self-soothing techniques during heated discussions. Effectively managing conflicts contributes to a resilient and adaptable co-founder dynamic.
Floor 6: Work Towards Life Goals
Similar to supporting life dreams in a romantic context, co-founders should understand, encourage and assist each other in reaching professional and life goals, where appropriate. Whether it's devising strategies to overcome business challenges or facilitating career development, actively discussing and participating in making professional and life priorities a reality solidifies the co-founder relationship.
Floor 7: Create Shared Mission
Aligning on a shared mission contributes to building a cohesive co-founder identity. While each person has their own reasons for starting a company, take time finding shared or common ground on the “why” of starting this company together. Perhaps it’s making an impact in a specific industry or for a particular company, building a healthy team environment, or designing an intuitive product. By co-creating a professional narrative, co-founders strengthen their sense of unity and shared purpose.
Pillars of Trust and Commitment: The Cornerstones of Collaboration
Just as in romantic relationships, trust and commitment are the cornerstones of a successful co-founder partnership. These are the weight-bearing walls that are the bedrock to a healthy relationship. Trusting each other's decisions, freely contributing to the venture, and committing to a defined amount of time solidify the co-founder relationship, ensuring it can withstand challenges and flourish as the business grows.
Original Source: https://www.gottman.com/blog/what-is-the-sound-relationship-house/
This is terrific. Big Gottman (and Group Relations) fan here. Wish I'd known about you three years ago:)